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How To Move On After A Relationship With A Narcissist

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Being in a relationship with a narcissist can seem like a never-ending cycle of pain, loneliness, abuse and many other feelings. You may have remained empathetic and forgiving throughout the relationship but perhaps at some point you realized it was important to stop this negative cycle and find your freedom.

Breaking the negative cycle of the relationship was probably the best thing you could have done for your emotional and mental well-being! Though, it may not feel like this immediately, it will get easier with time as you move on with your life. At the beginning it is time to focus on healing and self-care. Focusing on your own life and well-being after spending all your energy on your narcissistic partner can be difficult at first. But, there are a few things that you can do to make the journey easier so that you can heal, regain your self-worth and move on with your life.

Set Necessary Boundaries

Getting out of a relationship with a narcissistic person was the first step. But it can be tempting to allow them to come back into your life in some capacity. In doing so, you will be setting yourself up for more pain and more problems in the future.

Though it can be hard at first, it is important to set boundaries when it comes to your narcissist ex-partner contacting you. It may be beneficial to block them from calling you, sending you messages, etc. Another good idea might be to get rid of anything in your own home that reminds you of them and the negative experience. Cutting ties quickly and completely is never easy, especially if you were in a narcissistic relationship for a long time. But, it is the best way to start the healing process with less distractions.

Accept the Truth and Move On

You may have suffered both mentally and emotionally for years by your narcissistic partner. Maybe you denied it or refused to see it while you were with them. But, after the relationship is over, it is important to accept that truth. Accept the reality that the individual you were with was toxic to your life. It can sometimes be a hard pill to swallow, and it can often make people feel guilty or even feel ‘at fault’ for allowing such things to go on for so long.

That is why the next portion of this tip is equally-important: Learn to forgive yourself. It is not your fault that you stayed in a relationship with a narcissist. It just goes to show that you valued the relationship itself, and that perhaps you saw something in that person that may not have actually been there. Don’t blame yourself for how that person made you feel, and don’t blame yourself for staying in an toxic relationship. Forgiving yourself will allow you to move on and take control of your life again.

Accept the Truth and Move On

Listen to Yourself

There may be an underlying reason within you that initially drew you to a narcissistic person, and that same reason may be why you stayed with them for so long. Listening to your inner thoughts and feelings can help you to determine why that might be. Keep in mind that there is a difference between self-understanding and self-blaming. Keep listening to that inner-voice and ask yourself how you feel now, after you have left that narcissistic individual. Your intuition is stronger than you might think, as long as you open up and allow yourself to really listen to it.

Change Your Focus

As humans, it is not always easy for us to just forget the past and move on. This is especially true when it comes to relationships of any kind. But, after you have given yourself some time to heal, shifting your focus and becoming more mindful will be a big help. Start to focus on the present and on the future, and how these things make you feel.

Think about your goals and dreams, even if you haven’t considered what they might be in years. They will give you something to look forward to, something to feel excited about and also something to focus on, which will make it easier to pull yourself out of any negative thinking associated with your past relationship.

Change Your Focus

Be Patient With Yourself

Perhaps the most important tip to put into practice is to be patient with yourself after you end your relationship with a narcissist. Maybe you keep falling back into sadness when you think about the relationship. Maybe you feel like you are not moving forward quickly enough, and you want to “get over” those negative feelings that keep sticking with you. Everyone deals with the aftermath of a breakup differently. When you were in a relationship where emotional abuse was involved, dealing with that kind of trauma can make things even more difficult. Be kind to yourself, and try to eliminate any negative self-talk. This goes along with forgiving yourself, of course. But it is also necessary to be gentle with your own emotions as you continue to work through everything.

Don’t assume that one setback is going to drag you back to where you started. There is no set time limit you need to keep track of when it comes to your healing process. No matter how long it might take you, the most important thing is to be persistent and not to give up on yourself. Hopefully, some of the suggestions listed in this article will make the aftermath of living with a narcissist a bit easier for you.

Remember, this is an opportunity for you to take the reigns back on your own life. Though it may be a slow process at the beginning, you will feel so much better once you finally find personal freedom, and once you have moved on with your life after being in a relationship with a narcissist.

 

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8 Ways to Take Care of Yourself Every Day

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8 Ways to Take Care of Yourself Every Day

Self-care is a term that gets thrown around a lot lately, to the point where it’s easy to ignore or blow it off as some kind of “buzz word”. But, it’s so much more than that, and when you are willing to take self-care seriously, you might just start to see how much easier it will be to get through each day. (more…)

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The Top 8 Most Important Things in Life

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The Top 8 Most Important Things in Life

It is easy for people to speculate and debate about the most important things in life. You have probably heard that “the best things in life are free” or that “love is all you need”, but what about what are the most important? What do you really need in this life in order to find contentment and fulfillment? (more…)

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The Practice of Ho’oponopono Can Clear Stress and Negativity from Your Life

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Ho’oponopono

One method of reducing stress that you may not have heard of before is the Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono. Many of us deal with some level of stress on a regular basis. While it is almost impossible to get rid of stress completely from your life, there are many effective ways to reduce it. Too much stress can cause a variety of negative health issues, these include:

  • Heart disease
  • Headaches
  • Nausea
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Diabetes

Ho’oponopono originated in Hawaii, and translates directly into English as “correction” or “to make right”. The practice focuses on reconciliation and forgiveness by using an affirmation to clear the mind of any negative thoughts and stress.

The benefits to someone who practices Ho’oponopono regularly are:

  • Reduction of stress
  • Improvement in physical and mental health
  • Improved relationships with others
  • Control over emotions
  • A happier/more positive life

How Does Ho’oponopono Work?

Ho’ponopono does not require much teaching or practice, yet it is powerful for getting rid of bad memories or feelings. Ho’oponopono is a simple practice that allows you to release negativity that is being held within you. It also sends out the desire for reconciliation into the universe. This is achieved by using just four easy steps. The steps of H’oponopono are:

1. I’m Sorry: In life, it can be very easy to feel like the victim. We are often quick to blame other people or other circumstances for our own negative thoughts. In reality, you are in control of your thoughts. You are responsible for the negative feelings that have manifested inside. It is not always easy to admit that you have allowed your consciousness to introduce those negative thoughts – and that you have believed them. By saying sorry, you are recognizing that you are responsible for the negative thoughts or emotions that you might have. Apologizing to yourself has a powerful healing power and will help you to move on with your life.

2. Forgive Me: Once you have said that you are sorry, forgiveness is the next natural step. Don’t think so much about who you’re asking to forgive you. Instead, focus on the feeling of genuine remorse as you ask for that forgiveness.

3. Thank You: Gratitude has the power to completely change your outlook in life. Thank a friend, thank yourself, thank the universe or God or whoever you want to. The more that you are grateful, the more things you will have to be grateful for. Get into the habit of being more grateful every day.

4. I Love You: There is perhaps nothing more powerful in the world than the power of love. It doesn’t matter who the words are spoken to as long as the feeling behind them is genuine. Love yourself, your body, the air that you breathe, the world around you and all of the people in it. The power of love has the power to heal and banish any negative thoughts and stress from our lives.

Ho’oponopono

Why is Ho’oponopono So Powerful?

I’m sorry. Forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

So, what makes these simple affirmations so powerful?

You will probably agree that the four healing affirmations of Ho’oponopono are all positive things. When you can don’t have to convince yourself of that, and you just naturally “know” it, it is easier to push away negative thoughts and block out stress by filling yourself with love and gratitude.

Making Ho’oponopono a Habit

Because the affirmations of Ho’oponopono are universally accepted, anyone can put them into practice and allow them to change the way that they think and feel. Whether you use the affirmations as a daily reminder to yourself, or you focus on each of the four areas individually in order to rid yourself of negativity, they can make a big difference in your life. Stress will always be there and ignoring it will only make things worse. By recognizing that no other person or situation has control over your thoughts, you can feel more confident in getting rid of any negativity and stress that might be affecting you.

Start by realizing the importance of self, and how your negative connotations toward others or toward external factors could be controlling you more than you think. Once you start looking inward instead of outward, you can start to re-gain control over which thoughts you choose to listen to and which thoughts you choose to ignore. Always remember, the power to clear away stress and negativity starts from within.

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