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How to Survive Living or Working with a Narcissist

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How to Survive Living or Working with a Narcissist

 

The best relationship that you can have with a narcissist is none at all. This is a very strong statement, but I truly believe that having a positive relationship with a narcissist is impossible. But sometimes in life, your path might cross with a narcissist in work, or perhaps you are currently in a relationship with a narcissist.

There is a good chance that you know at least one narcissistic person in your life. It is easy to think that this person doesn’t have a strong impact on you. But, in reality, dealing with a narcissist on a regular basis can wreak havoc on your mental health. They can lower your self-esteem, and trigger you to get frustrated, upset, or even cause you to get angry.

Living and working with a narcissist are two different things, but they usually require the same techniques in order to help you to get through the relationship that you have with them. You don’t have to put up with all of the negative tendencies of a narcissist. Instead, let’s look at some techniques that you can use to save your sanity and perhaps the relationship that you have with them. 

Don’t Try to Change Them

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is impossible to change their personality. But, you can change how you let them affect you. Don’t turn trying to change them into a ‘project.’ In the end, you will only be disappointed. Narcissists usually don’t have much empathy for other people, as they don’t see themselves as having a problem. If you put a lot of time and effort into thinking you can change them, you will find yourself feeling disappointed, while they won’t even notice or care.

Whether you work with someone who is obsessed with their image, or you love someone who is a little too over the top with how ‘into’ themselves they are, the first step in dealing with them is to understand that you cannot change them. If you still have to/want to be around them, it is you who has to make some positive adjustments.

Accept and Admit Your Feelings to Yourself

One of the worst things that you can do to yourself is to pretend that everything is okay with the narcissist in your life. If you keep telling yourself that you are being irrational or overreacting, you could actually make things even worse. Bottling up your emotions and frustration will eventually cause them to come out eventually, and that will usually create a negative reaction. It is okay to accept your feelings and admit to yourself that you are annoyed by the actions of the narcissist. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be to know what behavior by them is tolerable and what is intolerable.

Understand Why They Behave This Way

Many times, narcissists are actually very insecure people. It may not seem like it, but they often talk and brag about themselves as a defense mechanism, to make themselves feel better. However, there is a fine line to this theory. Narcissists can also get huge egos very quickly. A good rule of thumb is to reassure the narcissist in your life of their genuine real worth.

For example, if you work with a narcissist who is going on and on about how great they performed during a meeting, give them a simple reassurance that they did, indeed, do a good job. This can help to extinguish their underlying insecurities. But, don’t feel obliged as though you have to go on and on about all of their achievements. That could actually fan the flames of their ego, and make things even worse. When you understand that narcissists often have extreme insecurities, it can be easier to handle some of their quirks and characteristics.

Stay Confident, Strong and Positive

Again, because many narcissists are actually quite insecure people, they can get  great pleasure out of seeing others fail, or even seeing others in some type of emotional pain or turmoil. Most of the time, it’s not some kind of ‘evil’ thought process, as they may not even realize the pleasure they get out of such thoughts.

But, if you must work with a narcissist, don’t let these thoughts and tendencies get to you. Even if you are feeling down, try to maintain a confident positive outlook around these types of people. They will try to bring you down, and the best way to respond to that is to let them know that you are not going to put up with their mean streak by staying confident, strong and positive. If they get into an argument with you, walk away or leave the house, as a response will only give them the power that they crave.

This practice can be often easier said than done, but it is important if you want to be the one in control in your personal and/or working relationship.

Find a Balance

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it can be easy to find yourself constantly giving into their wants and needs. Don’t let yourself get derailed when it comes to your own plans and goals just because they try to steal the spotlight all of the time.

It is important to keep moving forward in your own life. A narcissistic person will try to hold you back if you let them. While it is important to be supportive in a relationship, that support has to go both ways. A narcissist may not recognize that, so it is up to you to keep walking your own path, and achieving your own goals on a regular basis. Finding a balance between your relationship with a narcissist and your own personal achievements in life can be tricky at first. But, it is so important in order to have a healthy relationship, and indeed for your own mental wellbeing.

Determine What You Are Willing to Do

Again, it is important to understand where a narcissist might be coming from. If you work with someone like this, it is not always easy to suggest that they could get some help. But, if you are in a relationship with a narcissistic person and you know that they may be struggling with some insecurities, it’s okay to offer them the help they may need.

Determine what you are willing to do to help someone that you care about, even if they have selfish tendencies. They may not be receptive to the idea. But, not offering help may make you resent them and their personality. I do believe that the best thing that you can do if you meet a narcissist is to go in the opposite direction, I know of people who have broken free from a relationship with a narcissist and it has totally changed their lives for the better. I know of others who are still in a relationship with a narcissist and it works. If you work with or you live with a narcissist and you want the relationship to work, do your best to put these techniques into practice. If you do, it won’t be long before you will notice how much better you will feel.

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6 Reasons Why You Should Create A Bucket List

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Reasons Why You Should Create A Bucket List

The term ‘bucket list’ has become quite popular in recent years. It has been used in pop culture references and as a casual topic of conversation when someone wants to do something. Chances are, you have heard someone say, “Oh, that’s on my bucket list!” But, a bucket list is more than just a fantasy, an out of reach dream or an excuse to say that you want to do many things, only to never follow through on them.

There are actually many benefits to creating a bucket list, if you just put in the time, the thought and the dedication into it. Making a bucket list is a perfect way to set your life goals and to stay focused on making them a reality. Still not 100% convinced? Let’s take a look at six reasons why you really should create a bucket list. Maybe, by the end of this article, you will be ready to put together one of your very own.

1. It Gives You a Purpose

While putting together a bucket list won’t tell you what the meaning of your life is, it can help to give you a purpose to your life. A bucket list should be more about the major goals that you have for yourself, rather than a bunch of fun little things that you might want to do. A bucket list gives you something to get out of life and allows you to stay focused while you are doing it.

Have you ever been bored, wondering what you’re going to do this weekend to fill up your free time? A bucket list can give you that answer, encouraging you to always work towards the things that you truly want to do and experience in life.

2. It Brings Your Goals to Life

As stated above, a bucket list should be about exciting goals that you have for yourself. But, it is also an opportunity to hone in on those goals. Many people have ambitions and even make goals or resolutions for themselves each year only to be forgotten a few days later. But, when you have a specific list of goals written down, it can help to make you more motivated and focused to achieve them.

Goals are incredibly important to have, and the fact that your bucket list can make those goals clearer and more tangible is really important.

3. You Will Create Lasting Memories

Memories are one of life’s greatest treasures. As you start to accomplish the things on your bucket list, you will also be making wonderful memories each time. Since you are doing the things you really want to do, those memories will bring you comfort, a sense of achievement and give you something positive to look back on and share with others.

Bucket list Create Lasting Memories

4. It Will Pull You Forward

Have you ever been in a “funk” in life, or maybe you have had bouts of feeling down or depressed that have kept you from doing the things you typically enjoy? No one wants to stay in that kind of mindset for long. Because a bucket list can help to give you a sense of purpose, it can also give you the motivation to pull yourself out of a funk. It can call you to do something new, something different, or something that even challenges you. Sometimes, that’s all a person needs to be pulled out of a tired or depressed state.

Additionally, doing something on your bucket list will help to distract you for a while. That can be a great solution for someone who has anxiety or tends to focus too much on the negative things in life. Sometimes, a distraction can be a welcomed reprieve.

5. You Will Experience Life-Long Learning

When you commit yourself to having new experiences, you are also committing yourself to learning something new. So many people think that learning stops when you finish school, but you can learn so much more simply by living and trying more new things throughout your life. People who embrace this type of lifestyle are called “lifelong learners”. The reality is this; you will never be able to learn everything there is to know. But, because all of us have such a short time on this planet to figure things out, the more experiences we participate in, the more that we will learn and grow. Not only can a bucket list help you to learn things about different cultures, skills, situations, people and personalities.

It can also help you to learn more about yourself. Closing your mind off to the idea of lifelong learning will cause you to become stagnant with your thoughts and your growth. As a human being, you should have a desire to continue to grow and achieve as much as you possibly can throughout your life. Working through your bucket list can help you to achieve that.

Bucket List For Life long Learning

6. You Will Never Run Out of Things to Do

If you sit down to make a bucket list, you might write down anywhere from 10-100 things that you really want to do. But, it doesn’t have to stop there. Chances are, as you start to work through some of the things on your list, you will come up with more ideas.

Experiencing new things, and even challenging things, is a great way to get inspired and motivated to continue on that trend. A bucket list can truly be never-ending as you come up with more exciting new ideas and goals for yourself.

Building Your Bucket List and Bettering Your Life

There are so many additional reasons why you should create a bucket list for yourself. Remember, a bucket list is a very personal thing, and the experiences you put on the list should be things that you truly want to do or accomplish. Don’t make them  so unrealistic that you will never plan on committing to. Instead, promise yourself that you will immerse yourself in those experiences.

A bucket list might be something you create to accomplish things before you pass on, but in creating one and diving into new experiences, there is a good chance you will feel more alive than ever!

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8 Ways to Take Care of Yourself Every Day

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8 Ways to Take Care of Yourself Every Day

Self-care is a term that gets thrown around a lot lately, to the point where it’s easy to ignore or blow it off as some kind of “buzz word”. But, it’s so much more than that, and when you are willing to take self-care seriously, you might just start to see how much easier it will be to get through each day. (more…)

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The Top 8 Most Important Things in Life

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The Top 8 Most Important Things in Life

It is easy for people to speculate and debate about the most important things in life. You have probably heard that “the best things in life are free” or that “love is all you need”, but what about what are the most important? What do you really need in this life in order to find contentment and fulfillment? (more…)

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