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The Key Mindfulness Habit To End Drama In Your Life

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The Key Mindfulness Habit To End Drama In Your Life

All of us have some drama in our life, even if it is only internal. In this article you will learn a mindfulness habit that can radically reduce internal and external drama and suffering. You will see results quicker if you practice this powerful habit often. The opposite of drama is peace. So, as your experience of drama decreases you will have proportionately more peace in your life.

Here is the key principal: There are things that happen, and then there is our reaction to them. Although most of the time our reactions are automatic, they really don’t have to be. Everyone has had some experience with non-reactivity. It may even occur by accident. For example, imagine you fell in love with someone a week ago and you are feeling on top of the world. Your mood is such, that things that would normally bother you have little or no effect. Your boss could reprimand you, or someone might cut you off in traffic; events that normally would elicit an internal reaction of feeling tense and exasperated don’t bother you.

Maybe you are familiar with the old technique of counting to ten before responding in a situation that makes you angry. This technique is similar to that but it is a little more sophisticated and much more effective.

 

The Key Mindfulness Habit To End Drama In Your Life

 

Skillfully utilizing this technique begins with the intention to become more mindfully aware of the experiences that might set you off. And, having this awareness the moment these events happen; right as they enter our senses. The point is to catch them right at that moment. Our senses, in this case, are six: Sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch and thinking. We are including thinking in the senses just for this exercise. It doesn’t matter if it is not normally considered one. Everything we experience enters our consciousness through one of these means.

Begin Practicing Paying Attention To The Senses.

This means being more mindful of things as they happen before you attach a story or opinion to them. Next, in the moment the event happens you will catch it with one of your senses and label it as Pleasant, Unpleasant, or Neutral. You can use the acronym P.U.N as a reminder. Again, it’s important that you do this only as the sense(s) perceives it with no story added; it’s just the sensory experience.

Here’s an example: Imagine you are sitting in a park reading something on a peaceful spring day. Suddenly you hear a whooshing sound as the sprinklers come on and begin to soak you and your book! Okay, so in your normal mode you might be fuming, thinking; great, now I’m soaked, my book is ruined, and my hair… Now you are in a bad mood that can color the rest of your day. It is not uncommon to turn little inconveniences like this into catastrophes, at least mentally.

Let’s stop here and rewind the mental movie and slow it down to catch what happened at the senses. As the sprinkler turned on, your hearing picked up a whooshing sound, next you felt water on your skin. That’s it! So far there’s no mental story; no drama or suffering.

Next, check in with your breathing and drop your attention into your body. Just watch the breath for a few seconds, and feel into your body. This does several things: It diverts your attention away from creating a story (drama). It also calms down the nervous system and provides oxygen to your entire body and brain – This feels good. And, this reinforces the wholesome habit of having your attention focused on the body in the present moment, rather than getting carried away in the head which likes to time-travel to the future or the past.

So, now after a minute or so, you are now calm, centered, and feeling okay. You are in a much better place to respond skillfully; perhaps you walk out of the sprinklers for instance with a smile.

 

The Key Mindfulness Habit To End Drama In Your Life

 

Learning to apply this technique to the sense of thinking is a little trickier, but can be done and it works the same way. You are merely treating thoughts as objects in awareness. Practice is key.

You can easily remember this technique with the steps; A – B – C – D.

  1. Awareness of the intention to practice this.
  2. Be mindful at the senses – PUN is Pleasant, Unpleasant, or Neutral.
  3. Check in with your breathing.
  4. Drop into your body.

Have fun with this and try it a few times today. You will be pleasantly surprised at how you can gain much more choice in how you respond to life. You will also have less drama and more peace.

I hope that you enjoyed and benefited from this article.

Be well.

Brad

 

Brad Maybury teaches mindfulness practices, helping clients connect more deeply with their body and gain greater calm, vitality, and wellness! Those with symptoms of anxiety, stress and trauma go from surviving to thriving.

You can get more mindfulness tips and resources in his newsletter, plus a free copy of his book by visiting his site: http://www.traumarecoveryresources.com/newsletter

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6 Things To Remember When You Think That You’re Not Good Enough

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6 Things To Remember When You Think That You’re Not Good Enough

Have you ever had moments where you feel completely inadequate? Maybe a specific situation comes up and you think there is no way that you would ever be good enough to do what is needed. Or, maybe you feel that way all the time and you can’t seem to get past it.

Thinking that you are not good enough and having low self-esteem tend to go hand-in-hand, but they are slightly different.

Thankfully, you can work on both of them by changing your thinking habits and banishing some of that negative self-talk from your mindset. Whether you think you are not good enough in certain situations or you have a hard time believing that you are good enough for almost anything, it doesn’t have to be that way forever.

Let’s look at a few things you should always keep in mind when those thoughts come in, and how you can start to convince yourself of your true worth.

1. You Are Not Alone

Thinking that you are not good enough can cause a lonely existence. You might not want to put your burdens on others, so you don’t talk about it. You might also think that everyone else is perfectly happy with who they are, and are confident in everything that they do.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

The reality is, you never know what other people are fully thinking/feeling. What you can count on, though, is that there are so many others who feel just like you, and are constantly wondering if they are “enough”. Knowing that you are not alone can help you to work through your feelings without feeling so isolated.

2. You Have Your Own Skills

A common reason why people tend to think they are not good enough is because they don’t have a specific talent or skill that someone else has. But you probably have something that person doesn’t, too.

Everyone has their own abilities and things that make them unique. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, keep your mind on your talents and what makes you special.

“If you want to make a permanent change, stop focusing on the size of your problems and start focusing on the size of you!” – T. Harv Eker

3. You Can’t Be Perfect

Perfection is a fruitless thing to chase. Many people who question their self-worth do so because they are perfectionists.

But, if you set such a high standard for yourself, you will always be disappointed. Perfection doesn’t exist, and while you can strive to be your best, it is important to understand human error and limits. That doesn’t mean the things you do are some how “less” than great. But, striving for perfection is something that can make you feel inadequate.

4. You Are Worthy of Loving Yourself

Love tends to be the answer for so many things, including any pain or turmoil that you might be going through. Thinking that you are not good enough is an easy way to cause yourself sadness and pain. Those thoughts can quickly snowball and you might start to think about more negative things about yourself.

Instead of fueling those negative thoughts, choose love. Love is like a permanent band-aid for the pain that you are going through. It is a great way to comfort yourself, provide reassurance, and get a clearer picture of who you really are and all of the wonderful things that you can offer the world. By choosing self-love, you can start to see yourself in a more positive light, and push those negative thoughts away.

“We must fall in love with ourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.” – Mae West

5. Mistakes Can Be a Good Thing

Do you ever find yourself feeling especially inadequate when you “fail”? While that is not uncommon, that word should really be removed from your vocabulary.

Everyone “fails” at times, because again, perfection is not attainable. When you start to consider anything less than perfection to be a failure, it is easy to beat yourself up and think that you will never amount to the things that you truly want.

But, when you start to view your failures and mistakes as good things and stepping stones, you can completely shift your perspective and realize that not only are you good enough, but you are also resilient and strong. Some of the biggest “failures” in history went on to be the most successful people because they learned from their mistakes. They looked at the things that went wrong and considered how they could change them.

It is important to use your mistakes as a way to learn and grow. When you are able to do that, you will find a greater sense of fulfillment when things finally come together and you get it “right”.

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordon

6. Gratitude Goes a Long Way

It might not always feel easy to accept and be grateful for who you are. But, it is incredibly important. Instead of thinking about the things you don’t have or areas where you are not “good enough”, choose to actively think about and pursue the positive. Focus on what you are grateful for. The more that you do that, the easier it will be to banish those thoughts of doubt and insecurity. I like to start every day by using my journal and begin by writing down three things that I am grateful for.

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” — Melody Beattie

Once you really start to think about it, you will find that you have more to be grateful for than you may have initially realized, and that way of thinking can help you to establish healthier, more positive thoughts about yourself that will last a lifetime.

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50 Thought Provoking Existential Questions

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50 Thought Provoking Existential Questions

What are existential questions?

Existential questions are usually deep, philosophical questions that question just that — our very existence.

They can be great conversation starters and they can also sometimes make for a passionate discussion. The following existential questions can be a great way to get to know someone better and perhaps even learn new things about yourself.

The word existential comes from the Latin word “existentia”, which means to exist. Existential questions challenge our way of thinking, our beliefs and our perspective.

Is there a right or wrong answer to an existential question? Perhaps not, as each question usually just asks more questions.

I have put together the following list of thought provoking existential questions so that you can perhaps start an internal conversation with yourself or start an interesting debate with your friends.

50 Thought Provoking Existential Questions

 

1. Are there limits to human creativity?

2. What makes something beautiful?

3. How do we know if we’re doing the right thing?

4. Who am I?

5. What is one thing that every human should get to experience in their life?

6. Do you believe in a power greater than humanity?

7. Are we given enough time?

8. Is privacy a right?

9. What is the best way for a person to attain happiness?

10. Are we alone in the universe?

11. What is love?

12. How would you define genius?

13. What do you think your purpose is?

14. If babies are considered innocent, when do people cease to be innocent?

15. Is it better to expand your knowledge or to deepen it?

16. Why do you think we are here?

17. How important is ‘play’ in living a healthy and fulfilling life?

18. Do you have a right to be happy, or should you earn it?

19. What happens when I die?

20. What worries me the most about the future?

21. What is a person? Is it the mind, or the body?

22. Would the world be a better place if all leaders were women? If you answered yes, why?

23. What activity have I done that has made me feel the most alive?

24. Does truth exist without evidence?

25. If I had to instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would I give?

26. Does a person have a soul? If so, where is it?

27. Is intelligence or wisdom more useful?

28. Is it more important to love or be loved?

29. What would make the world a better place?

30. How should we measure our lives? In years? In moments? In accomplishments? Something else?

31. What is the difference between living and simply existing?

32. If you died today, would you be satisfied with the life you’ve lived?

33. What advice would you tell your younger self?

34. Which is worse: failing or never trying?

35. Is a minimum wage a good idea? What about a maximum wage?

36. What is the most important goal every person should have?

37. Can anything ever really be considered ‘true’ or is everything subjective?

38. Is the world a better place with humans in it?

39. If extra-terrestrial life was discovered, how do you think humanity would react?

40. Is happiness just a mixture of chemicals circulating through our bodies?

41. Where do you think we go when we die?

42. Have I done anything lately worth remembering?

43. Can you ever have full control over your own life?

44. How do you know that you are not dreaming right now?

45. Is one lifetime enough?

46. What matters most in my life?

47. Is a person ever truly evil? If so, are they born that way?

48. What is the meaning of life?

49. Is humanity going in the right or wrong direction?

50. What does it mean to live a good life?

I hope that you enjoyed these thought provoking existential questions. I hope that they perhaps made you think about your beliefs, yourself and the world around you (the bigger picture). If you discuss these questions with a friend, remember, there is probably no right and wrong answers, usually just a matter of opinion.

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30 Life Lessons That I Would Tell My Younger Self

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30 Life Lessons That I Would Tell My Younger Self

I clearly remember when I was 18, then 25 and in then what seems like a flash, I have recently celebrated by 50th birthday. While some people might dread the thoughts of hitting such a milestone. (more…)

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